Ok so people don’t tend to tell you these things when you’re pregnant with twins so I’ll give you some heads-up.

Extra blood

So I’m sitting in the bath (before I got too big and had to be wrenched out by my fella) and I start to see blood between my legs. Shiiiiitttttt! I check downstairs…it’s not coming out of me …. (phew) so I check random body parts and everywhere I look blood is appearing in the bath water. I’m totally freaking out, desperately wondering where all the blood is coming from and touch my face only to realise I’m having a massive nose bleed. (I’d had like one nose bleed when I was 6 so this was a new relatively new experience for me) So anyways the nose bleed stops and the drama was over. But from then on I got a nose bleed couple of times a day especially in shower or when I was hot and when I bent down to pick something up or get dressed. Highly inconvenient especially as you can’t really feel it until you’re sitting at your desk in work and blood goes on all your paperwork. It’s nothing to worry about its apparently common. If they last for ages though I go and get them checked out. Just try to avoid strenuous activity like putting your shoes on and getting too hot. Ha! (good luck)

Apparently you produce lots more blood when you’re pregnant and even more so when your preggas with twins. I found lots of red dots, pink freckles and tiny veins showing up on my skin, mainly on my face and chest and bump. Some of them went away but they are nothing to worry about either.

Needing to go for a wee every 20 mins including at night is just standard.

Insomina

Don’t expect much sleep either, mainly because you are so uncomfortable and you will feel numb in places if you stay in one position for too long. You will make random animal like noises when you try to turn over in bed coz its hard work lugging round your bump, adjusting your massive wangers that you’ve only recently acquired and repositioning the 3 pillows you now need for thighs, bump and back. Sleeping becomes a challenge. Also a few weeks prior to giving birth, I was really ‘awake’at night. It was like my body was preparing me for night feeds. This I found most random coz surely you need to rest now more than ever and try to bank some sleep before the night owls come? Nope. You’’ll be wide awake. But if you do manage to sleep you will still have to get yourself out of bed 5 times a night for a wee too. (joy) This is before the twins start their Riverdance impression too.

The night kicks and thumps are amazing. At first I didn’t want to sleep coz my twins were so active at night. It was amazing just lying there feeling them. But towards the end they are so strong and powerful they can wake you up out of your sleep. When they kick at the same time your whole body will move. Incredible.

Heartburn

Flipping heck this was horrible. It was relentless, unforgiving, painful. Sitting up or lying down I got heartburn. When I ate, when I was hungry I got heartburn.  I was often sick in my mouth from it. Nothing worked or helped really. It kept me awake too and made me very unhappy in the end. I got some medication from the doctors which helped towards the end. Wish I’d done it sooner. It was highly unpleasant. Not had it since the babies were born though so rest assured it does stop.

Back ache

Being 5 stone overweight, with a big part of it in your tummy, sitting still all day and not moving is gonna hurt something. For me it felt like everything hurt. I even had cravings to exercise (wow) but couldn’t as it was all too painful. But the main thing that hurt for me was my lower back. Hotwater bottles and gentle stretches (if you can) will help but there really isn’t anything which will take it away. I still suffer with my back post twins but you just get on with it don’t you. Too busy to rest.

Feeling run down

I tend to get tonsillitis and colds when I’m rundown, but most of my third trimester I felt unwell. Constant colds, sore throats and feeling crap and hey I didn’t take paracetamol. I just endured it. It was grim. Turns out I had tonsillitis for 6 weeks. I eventually gave up and got my mum to take me the doctors (hate going the doctors) and they gave me antibiotics which helped but didn’t cure me. It was apparently just down to the shear effort my body is going through to make these two babies. There is nothing left for me so it’s taking it all out of me. I was happy with that information from my midwife so I just…endured it. My illness went when they were born.

Morning sickness

I didn’t get it. I was very lucky.

Dizziness and breathlessness

Just sitting down can make you feel dizzy and out of breath. It is hard work making twins. But mainly it was when I needed to eat.

A tan

Yes for some reason, not only your nipples go brown (hello monkey nips) but also your skin colour. You’ll have a warm golden glow to your skin. Fab. Hopefully that’ll help hide the hair you have been unable to reach shaving.

Snoring

Apparently I snored right through my pregnancy. I whole heartily disagree 😉

Lady farts

So you look like a pig, you eat like one….and now you will sound like one. It’s ok! Just blame the twins. I did. The bottom burps a pregnant lady with twins will produce will be respected by most men. You will be able to out fart and cupcake your fella all throughout your third trimester. (karma)

#expectrandombodilyfunctions